Nagual Series VIII - Wanna Speed Up Your Transformation?
If you are not at the movie theatre, how are you going to see the
movie? If you are not home, how will you hear someone knocking at your
door? If you are not self-present, who is there to grow and evolve?
When we are trying to develop the art of dreaming, this is one of the
first things we run into. We dream, but are not aware that we are
dreaming. To be lucid in dreaming requires that you be aware that you are
dreaming. It requires you to be self-present. It requires the awareness of
I am dreaming. What many dont realize is that the same is true
during our awake state. Most of us go about our day without
self-presence. Our attention is totally captured by people and things in
our outer-world, or inner dialogs and emotions in our inner-world. We have
no sense of self. Although we call ourselves awake, we are really
deeply asleep. To be self present while awake requires the awareness
of I am doing this, I am talking, I am thinking, I am picking my
nose.
Gurdjieff calls this self-remembering. It is the simplest (but not
necessarily the easiest) thing you can do to speed up your growth.
Self-remembering breaks us of the state of identification, which is the
dominate state of the human. We are constantly identified in something,
either in our inner-world (such as an inner dialog), or in our
outer-world, such as our computer screen. The state of identification is a
huge energy drain. All of our energy flows into the thing we are
identified with. We literally become the thing we are identified with.
Thats why it is called identification. We give our identity to that
which we are identified with.
When we are identified with something or someone we are not
self-present. When we are not self-present we do not exist. When we do not
exist there can be no growth. We may stalk others and ourselves all day
long, but if we are identified with that which we are stalking we are
wasting time and precious energy. We do not exist so there no change in
self can take place.
In its simplest form self-remembering is simply remembering that we
exist. We remember that we exist at all times and in all situations. We
continually remember that we are here, now, doing an activity or thinking
a thought. When you begin to self-remember you will find it is very
difficult to do for more than a few minutes at a time. A thought in your
inner-world or something or someone in your outer world soon captures your
attention and you no longer exist. Several hours, or in the beginning,
several days later you will suddenly recall that you were supposed to be
remembering yourself. You then try again, only to have something grab your
attention and you forget that you exist.
Self-remembering is very tricky and it is easy to fool yourself. If
someone asks you, are you self-remembering now? you will immediately
begin to self-remember and forget that you hadnt been self-remembering
at all for several hours. When we forget to self-remember we immediately
lose self-presence. We lose any awareness that we are not
self-remembering. How can we know we are not self-remembering when we
dont exist? Self-remembering is totally in the now. If you are thinking
about self-remembering, you are not self-remembering. You can only
self-remember by self-remembering.
When you are able to self-remember consistently for sustained periods
of time it activates higher centers in self. Ouspenskey, one of
Gurdjieffs students who, like Castaneda brought the 4rth way teachings
to the world, talks about times when, after self-remembering for several
days he would be able to see people. Although he didnt use the
same terminology he was able to enter the 2nd attention while walking down
the street.
Without being self-present we cannot activate higher centers in self.
In more advanced stages self-remembering is actually continually recalling
the sensation of your core self which is the extension of your Dreamer.
Our core self has a particular energy sensation. I have spoken of energy
sensations before. Learning to sense sensations of energy and essences is
a vital step on the path. When you are able to sense the sensation of your
core self, and self-remember this sensation you will be consciously in
touch with your Dreamer. You live life aware of Intent flowing through you
and act accordingly.
Self-remembering is simple but not easy. If you can do it more than 30
seconds your first try you are doing good. Continue to work with it but
dont fool yourself. Self-remembering is much like stopping inner-dialog
in that it takes much practice and you must develop your will. Want to
know just how strong your will is? See how long you can self-remember. But
dont get discouraged. Self-remember in ALL and EVERYTHING at ALL TIMES.
Do it when you recapitulate. Do it when you stop your inner dialog. Be
self-present. It is the only time you really exist. If you are truly able
to self-remember you will find your dreaming to be much more lucid as you
will be self-present in your dreams.
Give it a try and stick with it. What have you got to lose? If you are
not self-present you have already lost your self.
|
|